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Today's quotes [11.25.13]

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I told my girlfriend last night how much I loved her,
and she said that I must have been out drinking again.
I asked her why she would say that, and she said,
"Because I'm your father." 

    - Dave George 

1. 




If you think the way to a man's heart is through
his stomach, you're aiming too high. 

2. 




The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason: you're sick of him. 

3. 




The problem was his poetry, which was of the Naturalistic school
and leaned heavily on the S alliteration: "Sad, sorrow-sunk survivors
of a sadistic society, saturated with strong, stiff stench of
stifling strife..." 

     - Patrick F. McManus 

4. 




"Although I can accept talking scarecrows, lions and great wizards
of emerald cities, I find it hard to believe there is no paperwork
involved when your house lands on a witch." 

     - Dave James 

5. 



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