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Today's quotes [11.16.13]

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Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a
   bank robbery has just taken place.
         Johnny Carson


1. 




* Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.


2. 




* It is not what a teenager knows that bothers his parents, it is
       how he found out.


3. 




* There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead.


4. 




   My wife sez that I'm too extravagant; that if anything ever happens to
   her,
   I'll have to beg. I told her I'd be fine.
   I mean -- look at all the experience I've got.


5. 



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