Today's jokes [11.29.13]
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If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow
that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,
models deposed and dry cleaners depressed? Laundry workers could decrease,
eventually becoming depressed and depleted! Even more, bedmakers will
be debunked, baseball players will be debased, landscapers will be
deflowered, bulldozer operators will be degraded, organ donors will be
delivered, software engineers will be detested, the BVD company will be
debriefed, and even musical composers will eventually decompose. And on
a more positive note, perhaps we can hope politicians will be devoted.
A little boy was excited about his first day at school.
So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class
started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to
the bathroom. So he raised his hand politely to ask if
he could be excused. Of course the teacher said yes, but
asked him to be quick.
Five minutes later he returned, looking more desperate
and embarrassed. "I can't find it", he admitted.
The teacher sat him down and drew him a little diagram
to where he should go and asked him if he will be able
to find it now. The boy looked at the diagram, said "yes"
and goes on his way.
Five minutes later he returned to the class room and says
to the teacher "I can't find it".
Frustrated, the teacher asked Jon, a boy who has been at
the school for awhile, to help him find the bathroom.
So two fellas go together and five minutes later they
both return and sit down at their seats. The teacher asks
Jon, "Well, did you find it?"
Jon is quick with his reply: "Oh sure, he just had his
boxer shorts on backwards"
A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:
Sacred to the memory of my husband John Barnes who
died January 3, 1803. His comely young widow, aged
23, has many qualifications of a good wife, and
yearns to be comforted.
So my sister, a natural blond graduating from the University of
North Carolina Law School, is job hunting. I suggested that
since Microsoft is building up their legal team, she should send
them a resume and become a southern blond Microsoft lawyer
-- and be the butt of any joke on the internet.
One of the life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a
woman gain five pounds.
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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