Today's jokes [11.27.13]
Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.
A very modest lady applied for a job at the factory where
they made "Tickle me Elmo dolls". It was Friday and almost quitting
time and hurriedly the boss told her to report for work on Monday. He
quickly explained to her that she would be stationed on the assembly
line just before the dolls were packed into boxes. On Monday they
started up the line and within twenty minutes had to shut it down
because one worker couldn't keep up. The boss went down the line to
find the problem. The new employee was very busy trying to do her part
but she had a bunch of dolls waiting for her. Closer examination
showed that she was sewing little cloth bags containing two walnuts in
the appropriate place on the dolls. The boss could not control his
laughter and said, "Lady, I said to give each doll
What is the Definition of Agony?
Pamela Anderson says to you "I'll fuck you for a week non stop
for one dollar and you have only got 95 cents!
Billy Ray and Billie Bob are driving home from a party. BR runs a red
light. BB says, "Hey! What the fuck are you doing! That light was red!"
BR replies, "Don't worry, my brother does it all the time, it's OK."
Then he does it again.
BB: " Damn it, you done it again!"
BR: "It's OK, I tell you. My brother does it all the time."
The next light is green. BR slams on the brakes.
BB: "Where did you learn to drive? That was green. You are supposed to go
BR: "Well I would have, but my brother might be coming through!
What was the first thing Adam said to Eve ?
"Stand back .... I don't know how big this thing is going to grow !"
A woman went to the bar with a black eye.
"How'd ya get that?" asked the bartender.
"From my husband," she replied.
"But I thought he was out of town?" he asked.
"So did I!" she said.
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30