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Today's jokes [11.27.13]

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    A very modest lady applied for a job at the factory where
   they made "Tickle me Elmo dolls". It was Friday and almost quitting
   time and hurriedly the boss told her to report for work on Monday. He
   quickly explained to her that she would be stationed on the assembly
   line just before the dolls were packed into boxes. On Monday they
   started up the line and within twenty minutes had to shut it down
   because one worker couldn't keep up. The boss went down the line to
   find the problem. The new employee was very busy trying to do her part
   but she had a bunch of dolls waiting for her. Closer examination
   showed that she was sewing little cloth bags containing two walnuts in
   the appropriate place on the dolls. The boss could not control his
   laughter and said, "Lady, I said to give each doll
   Two----Test----Tickles."


1. 




What is the Definition of Agony? 

    Pamela Anderson says to you "I'll fuck you for a week non stop
    for one dollar and you have only got 95 cents! 

2. 




Billy Ray and Billie Bob are driving home from a party. BR runs a red 
light. BB says, "Hey! What the fuck are you doing! That light was red!" 
BR replies, "Don't worry, my brother does it all the time, it's OK."
Then he does it again. 
BB: " Damn it, you done it again!"
BR: "It's OK, I tell you. My brother does it all the time."
The next light is green. BR slams on the brakes.
BB: "Where did you learn to drive? That was green. You are supposed to go 
through."
BR: "Well I would have, but my brother might be coming through!

3. 




What was the first thing Adam said to Eve ?

"Stand back .... I don't know how big this thing is going to grow !"

4. 




A woman went to the bar with a black eye.
"How'd ya get that?" asked the bartender.
"From my husband," she replied.
"But I thought he was out of town?" he asked.
"So did I!" she said.

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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