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Today's jokes [11.23.13]

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How do you make love to a fat girl?

Roll her in flour and go for the wet spot. 

1. 




A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next
   to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he
   notices that she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her
   about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book about sexual
   statistics. It identifies that American Indialns have the longest
   average penis and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the
   way my name is Jill. What's yours?" He coolly replies, "Tonto
   Kowalski, nice to meet you."


2. 




There was a costume party at a mental hospital; the theme of 
the party was "war". 

The first person comes up onto the stage and says, "I'm an 
atomic bomb." He gets his applause and steps down.

The second person comes up and says, "I'm a hydrogen 
bomb." Again, there's applause and he steps down.

And then a naked little man comes up to the stage and says, 
"I'm dynamite." 

Everybody runs away hysterically. When one of them is asked 
why, he says, "Didn't you see how small his fuse was?"

3. 




A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and
was climbing into bed when his wife complained,
as usual, "I have a headache." 
"Perfect" her husband said. "I was just in the
bathroom powdering my penis with aspirin.
You can take it orally or as a suppository,...
it's up to you!" 

4. 




Why don't women wear dresses in the winter? 

     - Chapped lips. 

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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