Today's jokes [11.21.13]
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Two blondes were walking down the street. One noticed a
compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She
opened it, looked in the mirror, and said, "Hmmm, this person
"Let me look." said the other one. So she handed her the compact.
The second blonde looked in the mirror then turned to the first one.
"You dumbass -- that's ME!
Little Johnny was in a spelling bee in class. He had to spell the word and
use it in a sentence. The teacher asked him to please spell the word EAR.
Little Johnny stood up and proudly said EAR E,A,R. Then to use it in a
sentence he pretended to take a big hit off a joint and then while
pretending to have his lungs full of smoke he predended to pass the joint
to little Suzy and said "Ear"
There are a lot of words you can use to describe men: strong, caring, loving.
They'd be wrong, but you could still use them.
A solider stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his free time
and keep his mind off of the local women. The wife complied and sent the best one she could find, along with several dozen
lesson & music books.
Rotated back home, he rushed to their home and thru the front door. "Oh darling" he gushed, "Come here... let me look
at you... let me hold you ! Let's have a fine dinner out, then make love all night. I've missed your lovin' so much !"
The wife, keeping her distance, said, "All in good time lover. First, let's hear you play that harmonica."
The Master Chief was inspecting the barracks and he
overheard one terrified recruit whisper, "Master Chief Barnes
has the heart of a tiny child . . . on his desk . . . in a jar."
Without missing a beat, Master Chief Barnes snarled,
"Goddamned if they don't find out EVERY little thing about
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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