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Today's jokes [11.17.13]

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A woman was out shopping and her son was with her. They boy spotted a man 
who was bowlegged. The boy pulled on Mom's hand and said, " Momma, look at 
the bowlegged man." 
Mom was mortified and told her son that it was not polite to point to a 
person and make that sort of comment. For punishment, the boy had to read 
a play by Shakespeare. He couldn't go shopping again until he finished 
reading the play. 
Finally he finished and his mom took him out again to the mall shopping. 
Once again he spied a bowlegged man, but remembered what happened the last 
time. 
So he pulled on his mother's hand and said, "Lo, what manner of men are 
these, who wear their balls in parentheses?"

1. 




Two doctors found themselves on the beach in Hawaii.
As a real bevy of bikini-clad females walked by, one said,
"Look at the legs among that group."

"Sorry old chap." replied the second doctor. "But I'm a
chest man myself."



2. 




What would you rather be, a light bulb or a bowling ball?

Depends on whether you'd rather be screwed of fingered.

3. 




The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large 
supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here 
in the supermarket.  Can you talk to me for a couple of 
minutes?"

"Why?"

"Because every time I talk to a a beautiful woman my wife
appears out of nowhere."

4. 




What do you get when you cross a hooker with a systems engineer? 

A fuckin know-it-all!

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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