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Today's jokes [11.16.13]

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What's the white stuff you find in the bottom of girls' undies? 
Clitty litter.

1. 




There were three women sitting in a bar and they were discussing
how much their husbands could get up their crotch. 
The first women said, "My husband can get his whole hand up me". 
The second lady said, "My husband can get his whole head up me". 
The third lady slid down the bar stool. 

2. 




   A woman went to her doctor for a follow-up visit after the doctor had
   prescribed testosterone (a male hormone) for her. She was a little
   worried about some of the side effects she was experiencing.
   
   "Doctor, the hormones you`ve been giving me have really helped, but
   I`m afraid that you`re giving me too much. I`ve started growing hair
   in places that I`ve never grown hair before."
   
   The doctor reassured her. "A little hair growth is a perfectly normal
   side effect of testosterone. Just where has this hair appeared?"
   
   "On my balls."
   


3. 




Q: Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
A: Mace. 


4. 




   Warning - English Joke!
   
   UK-US Translation Guide:
   "Aussie" = Australian
   "Shag" = To have sex with
   
   An Aussie was marooned on a desert island. His only companions were a
   male dog and a female koala. The dog and koala hit it off, and for a
   year the Aussie could only sit and watch while the dog humped the
   koala senseless.
   
   "Lucky bastard!" thought the Aussie, "I could do with a good shag
   myself. "
   
   One day a beautiful naked blonde was washed up on the beach.
   
   "Hi. I'll do anything you want me to," she said to the Aussie.
   
   "Great!!! At last, after all this time!!! Take the dog for a walk,
   love, while I shag this koala."
   


5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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