Today's jokes [11.14.13]
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Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
- Because she gets a frog stuck in her throat at 69.
A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the
emergency operator asked. "No, you idiot!" the man shouted. "This is her
Kid: Teacher can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: You have to say your ABC's first
a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,q,r,s,t,u, v,w.x.y, and z
Teacher: Where's the p?
Kid: It's running down my leg!!
Sent by Jenna
A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend on the grounds of his
father's house. His father was a successful doctor, and was carrying out
a circumcision in the on-site surgery. As they were walking, they heard
a scream and a foreskin flew out of the window and landed at the girl's
"What's this," she asked.
"Taste it," he replied, "If you like it, I'll give you a whole one!"
A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with Once
Upon A Time?"
And he replied, "No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin
with 'If Elected I promise...'"
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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