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Today's jokes [11.10.13]

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A Kentucky teacher was quizzing her students. "Johnny, who  signed the

Declaration of Independence?"  He said, "Damn if I know."  She was a little

put out by his swearing, so she told him  to go home and to bring his

father with him when he came back. Next day, the father came with his son,

sat in the back of  the room to observe.  She started back in on her quiz

and finally got back to the boy. "Now, Johnny, I'll ask you again. Who

signed the Declaration of Independence?" "Well, hell, teacher," Johnny

said, "I told you I didn't  know." The father jumped up in the back,

pointed a stern finger at  his son, and said, "Johnny, if you signed that

damn thing, hell, you damn well better admit it!"

Sent by Kelly

1. 




Father Goose Story No. 6

Two guys were stranded on a desert island.
The only way they could get food was to kill
sea birds by throwing rocks at them.
By the time they were rescued,
 ...  They had left no tern unstoned.

2. 




How can you tell when a drummer's at the door?

He doesn't know when to come in

3. 




Why didnt NASA send a woman to the moon yet?

Because it does not need to be cleaned!

4. 




A Mexican, a black, and a white guy are in a bar having a drink when a
good-looking girl comes up to them and says "whoever can say liver and
cheese in a sentence can have me". So the white guy says
"I love liver and cheese." she says "that's not good enough." 
The black says "I hate liver and cheese", and she says "that's not
creative", and then the Mexican says "liver alone cheese mine."



5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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