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Today's stories [10.21.13]

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MOSCOW, RUSSIA - A drunk security man asked a colleague at
the Moscow bank they were guarding to stab his bullet-proof
vest to see if it protected him against the knife.....

It didn't and the 25-year-old guard died of a heart wound. 

1. 




Jacques LeFevrier left nothing to chance when he decided
to commit suicide. He stood at the top of a tall cliff and
tied a noose around his neck. He tied the other end of the
rope to a large rock. He drank some poison and set fire to
his clothes. He even tried to shoot himself at the last
moment.

He jumped and fired the pistol. The bullet missed him and
cut through the rope above him. Free of the threat of hanging,
he plunged into the sea. The sudden dunking extinguished the
flames and made him vomit the poison. He was dragged out of the
water by a kind fisherman and was taken to hospital, where he
died ... of exposure! 

2. 




A man in Orange County Municipal Court had been ticketed
for driving alone in the carpool lane. He claimed that the
four frozen cadavers in the mortuary van he was driving
should be counted. The judge ruled that passengers must be
alive to qualify. 

3. 



BONUS! A random story from Jokes2Go database
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This guy was playing a game of texas holdem poker and had already lost 300 dollars when suddenly he looked down, and just next to the table he sees a little green leprechaun.
"Jus quit playing poker right now and I will give you a million dollars worth in a pot full of gold said the little green gentlemen.
The player replied, sure "just Let me get even first."


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