Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  

Today's quotes [10.24.13]

Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.

Never try to out-stubborn a cat. 

    - Lazarus Long, Time Enough for Love


Never accept a drink from a urologist. 

    - Erma Bombeck


Never say anything on the phone that you wouldn't
want your mother to hear at your trial. 

    - Sydney Biddle Barrows, the Mayflower Madam


Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words
"large" or "size" with "rear end." Never. Avoid the area
altogether. Trust me. 

    - Tim Allen


Man has been called a rational being, but rationality is a matter of choice - and
    the alternative his nature offers him is: rational being or suicidal animal. Man
    has to be man - by choice; he has to hold his life as a value - by choice; he has to
    learn to sustain it - by choice; he has to discover the values it requires and
    practice his virtues - by choice.

    -- Ayn Rand, "Galt's Speech," Atlas Shrugged 


BONUS! A random quote from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Jokes
Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Funny Pic

 October '13 Quotes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
      1  2  3  4  5  
6  7  8  9  10 11 12 
13 14 15 16 17 18 19 
20 21 22 23 24 25 26 
27 28 29 30 31 

Jump to  

For any questions or comments email us at
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.