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Today's quotes [10.18.13]

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They think they can make fuel from horse manure... Now I don't know if
   your car will be able to get thirty miles to the gallon, but it's sure
   gonna put a stop to siphoning.
         Billie Holliday


Advertising: The science of arresting the human intelligence long
   enough to get money from it
         Stephen Leacock


I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you
   must eat it with naked fat people.
         Ed Bluestone


"By ten I was so wasted I had been officially downgraded to a lower rung
 on the evolutionary ladder. Some guy in a suit came up, listened to my
 attempts to string words together, revoked my rights as Homo Sapiens
 on the spot and reclassified me as some kind of plant life. I had to
 fill in all kinds of forms and shit. It was very embarrassing."

-- Michael Marshall Smith, "Spares"


The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be
   caught dead in otherwise.
         Roger Simon


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