Today's quotes [10.18.13]
Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to quote categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.
They think they can make fuel from horse manure... Now I don't know if
your car will be able to get thirty miles to the gallon, but it's sure
gonna put a stop to siphoning.
Advertising: The science of arresting the human intelligence long
enough to get money from it
I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you
must eat it with naked fat people.
"By ten I was so wasted I had been officially downgraded to a lower rung
on the evolutionary ladder. Some guy in a suit came up, listened to my
attempts to string words together, revoked my rights as Homo Sapiens
on the spot and reclassified me as some kind of plant life. I had to
fill in all kinds of forms and shit. It was very embarrassing."
-- Michael Marshall Smith, "Spares"
The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be
caught dead in otherwise.
By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30 31