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Today's jokes [10.9.13]

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When the boy started Kindergarten, the teacher asked all 
the children to give their first name. When she got to the
little boy in the second row, he said:  "I'll give you a
hint. First it's in your hand, then it's in your mouth,
and then it's in your tummy."
The teacher smiled and said: "OK, Dick, sit down."

1. 




A young girl sees her father in the shower and asks what his 
testicles are.  "Those are the Apples of the Tree of Life," he 
tells her, by way of poetic concealment.

She tells this to her mother, who replies, "Did he say anything 
about that dead branch they're hanging on?"

2. 




   Six people were on a plane. A doctor, a lawyer a priest and 3
   children.
   The pilot comes on the radio and says the plane is going to crash,and
   there are only three
   parachutes.
   The doctor yells out, " Save the children"
   The lawyer yells out "FUCK THE CHILDREN!"
   The priest yells out " IS THERE TIME?"
   


3. 




What do you call a blonde with white eyes?

full up......


Sent by Rob

4. 




   A man and a woman are driving along when they see a wounded skunk on
   the side of the road. They stop, the woman gets out, picks it up, and
   brings it into the car.
   
   She says, "Look, its shivering, it must be cold. What should I do?"
   
   He says, "Put it between your legs."
   
   She says, "What about the smell?"
   
   He says, "Hold its nose."
   


5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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