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Today's jokes [10.31.13]

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How do you get a one armed MAN out of a tree?

Wave at him. 


Q. What's the brown stuff between the elephants toes ?
A. Slow natives.


The church was conducting its annual fund drive. One member of the 
congregation said, "I give ten dollars." Just then, a piece of plaster 
fell from the ceiling and landed on his head. He spoke up again quickly. 
"I give a thousand dollars!"
The minister said, "Lord, hit him again!" 


What do men have in common with toilet bowls, aniversaries, and

They miss them all.


    At the Doctor's...
   -A young woman said to her doctor,
   "You have to help me, I hurt all over."
   "What do you mean?" said the doctor.
   -The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled,
   "Ow, that hurts."
   -Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled,
   "Ouch! That hurts, too."
   -Then she touched her right earlobe.
   "Ow, even THAT hurts."
   The doctor asked the woman, "Are you a natural blonde?"
   -"Why yes," she said.
   "I thought so," said the doctor. "You have a sprained finger."


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

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