Today's jokes [10.29.13]
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Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant?
A: When he realises he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an
A man tried to sell his neighbour a new dog. "This is a talking dog," he
said. "And you can have him for five dollars." The neighbour said, "Who do
you think you're kidding with this talking dog stuff? There ain't no such
Suddenly the dog looked up with tears in his eyes. "Please buy me, Sir," he
pleaded. "This man is cruel. He never buys me a meal, never bathes me,
never takes me for a walk. And I used to be the richest trick dog in
America. I performed before kings. I was in the army and was decorated ten
"Hey!" said the neighbour. "He can talk. Why do you want to sell him for
just five dollars?" "Because," said the seller, "I'm getting tired of all
WHY IS AN IMPOTENT MAN LIKE A CHRISTMAS TREE?
-THEY BOTH HAVE BALLS FOR DECORATION
At the Russian War College, the general is a guest lecturer and tells
the class of officers that the session will focus on potential problems
and the resulting strategies.
One of the officers in the class begins by asking the first question,
"Will we have to fight a World War Three?"
"Yes, comrades, looks like you will," answers the general.
"And who will be our enemy, Comrade General?" another officer asks.
"The likelihood is that it will be China."
The class looks alarmed, and finally one officer asks, "But Comrade
General, we are 150 million people and they are about 1.5 billion.
How can we possibly win?"
"Well," replies the general, "Think about it. In modern war, it is
not the quantity, but the quality that is the key. For example, in the
Middle East, 5 million Jews fight against 50 million Arabs, and the Jews
have been the winners every time."
"But sir," asks the panicky officer, "Do we have enough jews"?
Q. What's better than roses on your piano ?
A. Two lips on your organ ...
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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