Today's jokes [10.25.13]
Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning
service, and she's in tears.
He says, "So what's bothering you, dear?"
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he
have any last requests?"
She says, "That he did, Father..."
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"
She says, "He said, 'Please, Mary, put down the Goddamn gun...'"
Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
A: When you see teeth marks.
The American in Hong Kong was talking to his wife one evening over
supper. "Get this..." he chuckled, "That ridiculous janitor of ours
claims he's made love to every woman in the building except one."
"Hmmmmmmmmm," said his wife, assuming a thoughtful faraway type
expression, "must be that stuck-up Mrs. Stewart on the eighth floor."
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class
was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe
properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at
this stage of the plan.
"Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher. "Walking is
especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the
time to go walking with your partner!"
The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised
"Yes?" asked the instructor.
"Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
Save the Yeasts
EVERY TIME A LOAF OF BREAD
150,000,000 YEASTS ARE
Come to the award-winning 1987 film,
"The Very Small and Quiet Screams"
-- a cinematic electromicrograph of yeasts being baked.
"A must for those who care about yeast, and especially for those who don't."
| Evening showing in Johnson & Wales |
| Pirsig Auditorium: 7PM, 4/19 |
Brown Anaerobe Rights Coalition (BARC)
Student Bakers for Social Responsibility
Coalition for the ELevation of Life (CELL)
Campus Crusade for Fetal Matters
Defend all life: 'from greatest to least, from human to yeast!"
This poster printed on 100% yeast-free paper.
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30 31