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Today's jokes [10.25.13]

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   Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning
   service, and she's in tears.
   He says, "So what's bothering you, dear?"
   She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away
   last night."
   The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he
   have any last requests?"
   She says, "That he did, Father..."
   The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"
   She says, "He said, 'Please, Mary, put down the Goddamn gun...'"


Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
A: When you see teeth marks.


   The American in Hong Kong was talking to his wife one evening over
   supper. "Get this..." he chuckled, "That ridiculous janitor of ours
   claims he's made love to every woman in the building except one."
   "Hmmmmmmmmm," said his wife, assuming a thoughtful faraway type
   expression, "must be that stuck-up Mrs. Stewart on the eighth floor."


The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class 
was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe 
properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at 
this stage of the plan.
"Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher. "Walking is 
especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the 
time to go walking with your partner!"
The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised 
his hand.
"Yes?" asked the instructor.
"Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"


Save the Yeasts

                      EVERY TIME A LOAF OF BREAD
                              IS BAKED,
                        150,000,000 YEASTS ARE

                 Come to the award-winning 1987 film,
                  "The Very Small and Quiet Screams"
        -- a cinematic electromicrograph of yeasts being baked.

"A must for those who care about yeast, and especially for those who don't."

                | Evening showing in Johnson & Wales |
                |    Pirsig Auditorium: 7PM, 4/19    |
                             SPONSORED BY
                Brown Anaerobe Rights Coalition (BARC)
               Student Bakers for Social Responsibility
              Coalition for the ELevation of Life (CELL)
                   Campus Crusade for Fetal Matters
   Defend all life: 'from greatest to least, from human to yeast!"

            This poster printed on 100% yeast-free paper.


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

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