Today's jokes [10.18.13]
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Little Harry walks in the bathroom and sees his mum with no clothes on,
standing in front of him, he looks up at her private parts he asks
"What's that mum ? " His mum frozen tried to think what to say, finally
she came up with the following, "That's where your dad accidentially hit
me with an axe!" and little Harry replies, "Good shot, right in the CUNT!"
What about the blond guy whose wife gave birth to twins?
He wanted to know who the other man was...
We have a young married couple in the neighborhood who are truly
inseparable. Last week, it took four Howard County Policemen and a
After the third day of a really torrid honeymoon, the young couple
finally emerged from their room and walked into the hotel restaurant.
After they were seated, the waiter came over to get their orders. The
new husband looked at his bride and said, "You know what I really feel
like honey ?"
"Well sure," she blushed, "But we gotta eat sometime !"
A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around
the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable
On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he
found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. Walking
confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as
possible and then busied himself with desk work.
When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took the desk stapler and
stapled the tie to his chest.
Discipline was not a problem from that day forth!
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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