Today's jokes [10.12.13]
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IBM Memo about Peripheral Replacement
This is an actual alert to IBM Field Engineers that went out to all
IBM Branch Offices. The person who wrote it was very serious. The rest
of us may find it rather funny.
Abstract: Mouse Balls Available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit) Mouse
balls are now available as FRU. Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate
or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement.
Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse
balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.
Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the
underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than
foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon
manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the
pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced using the twist-off
method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However,
excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of
ball replacement, the mouse maybe used immediately.
It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of spare balls for
maintaining optimum customer satisfaction, and that any customer
missing his balls should suspect local personnel of removing these
Upon returning to their car from a shopping tour, one of the young ladies
realized that she had forgotten to stop at the pharmacy for her birth
control pills. She rushed into the nearest pharmacy and gave her
prescription to the pharmacist. "Please fill this immediately," she asked.
"I've got people waiting in my car!"
A husband said to his wife
"Get your coat on love, it's time to go to the pub."
She replied "But you NEVER take me out."
"I'm not," said the husband,
"but I'm turning the heating off before I go."
Name:______________________________ SOCIAL SECURITY
STAFF ELEMENT:_____________________ HOME PHONE
MALE:___________ FEMALE:___________ OFFICE PHONE
SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Male - Female
Female - Female
Male - Male
All of the Above
None of the Above - Please Specify:
I CONSENT TO THE FOLLOWING FORMS OF SEXUAL HARRASSMENT:
Salutatory Greeting: _____________________
Eye-to-Eye Contact: ______________________
Eye-to-Bust Contatct: ____________________
Eye-to-Below Waist Contact: ______________
Heavy breathing on neck: _________________
Hands on body: ___________________________
Gluteus Maximus: ________________
Penetration (however slight): ____________
All of the Above: ________________________
MISCELLANEOUS: I WILL I WILL NOT
1. Assist in procurement of various potions, lotions, products,
etc. to be used during sexual harassment.
2. Assist in procurement and maintenance of various types of substaining
3. Clean up.
I CERTIFY THAT I WILL ACCEPT SEXUAL HARASSMENT FROM:
Anyone But: ______________________________
SIGNATURE: _______________________________________ DATE:
This form is to be reviewed by immediate supervisor annually, prior to
performance rating and evaluation.
What's the definition of AIDS?
Anally Injected Death Sentence.
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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