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Today's jokes [10.10.13]

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The bartender asks him "What'll you have?". The guy answers, 
"A scotch, please". The bartender hands him the drink, and 
says "That'll be five dollars", to which he replies "What are 
you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this".

A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, 
then says to the bartender, "You know, he's got you there. In 
the original offer, which consitutes a binding contract upon 
acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration". The 
bartender's not impressed, but says to the guy, "Okay, you 
beat me for a drink. But don't ever let me catch you in here 

The next day, same guy walks into the bar. Bartender says, 
"What the hell are you doing in here? I can't believe you've 
got the audacity to come back!". 

The guy says "What are you talking about? I've never been in 
this place in my life", to which the bartender replies "I'm 
very sorry, but this is uncanny. You must have a double."

To which the guy replies "Thank you! Make it a scotch."


This girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks "Whats a failic symbol?
Doctor says "you're kidding.."
Girl says "no! I don't know! Whats a failic symbol???"
Doctor pulls his pants and underwear down and says "You see? This is a
failic symbol!"
Girl says "Oh! Its just like a penis, only smaller"


"Cash, check or charge?" I asked after folding items the woman wished to
purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I notice a remote control for a
television set in her purse. "Do you always carry your TV remote?" I 
"No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I
figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him."


   After many months of trying to make ends meet, one California couple
   decided that the only way they were going to get any extra cash was to
   have the old lady start hooking.
   Early the next morning the wife comes home looking very haggard and
   worn out. The husband guiltily asks how she did, and the wife replies
   that she earned four hundred dollars and ten cents.
   "That`s great!" the husband replies. "But who gave you the ten cents?"
   "Everybody!" replied the wife.


Why wasn't Jesus born in West Virginia?

Well God found plenty of guys who liked 
to deal with sheep, but he could'nt 
find three wise men or a virgin.

Sent by Johnny


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

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