Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's jokes [10.1.13]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.


A blind man walks into a drug store with his seeing eye dog.
He takes the dogs leash & starts swinging it around & around
his head.
The druggist says "May I help you?" 
The blind man replies "No thank you, I'm just looking
around."

1. 




A man comes home drunk in the wee hours of the morning
to find his wife angry and waiting for him at the door. 
"Out drinking again!?" she says.
"How much money did you spend this time?" 
"$100," answers the man. 
"$100!" she shouts.
"That's ridiculous, spending that much in one night!" 
"Easy for you to say," he replies. "You don't smoke,
you don't drink, and you have your own pussy."

2. 




PCMCIA     People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN       It Still Does Nothing
APPLE      Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
SCSI       System Can't See It
DOS        Defunct Operating System
BASIC      Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM        I Blame Microsoft
DEC        Do Expect Cuts
CD-ROM     Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2       Obsolete Soon, Too.
WWW        World Wide Wait
MACINTOSH  Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs

3. 




It is time to elect a world leader and your vote counts.
Here's the scoop on the three leading candidates.
Candidate A: associates with ward heelers and consults
with astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He chain
smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
Candidate B: was kicked out of office twice, sleeps
until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of
brandy every evening.
Candidate C: is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian,
doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and hasn't had
any illicit affairs.
Which of these candidates is your choice??


Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt
Candidate B is Winston Churchill
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler


Sent by Marina

4. 




What do you call three blondes on Santa's Lap??

Ho Ho Ho


Sent by Adam

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 October '13 Jokes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
      1  2  3  4  5  
6  7  8  9  10 11 12 
13 14 15 16 17 18 19 
20 21 22 23 24 25 26 
27 28 29 30 31 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.