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Today's stories [1.19.13]

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A company takes out a newspaper advertisement claiming to be able to 
supply imported hard core pornographic videos. As their prices seem 
reasonable, people place orders and make payments via check.

After several weeks, the company writes back explaining that under the 
present law they are unable to supply the materials and do not wish to be 
prosecuted. So they return their customers' money in the form of a company 
check.

However, due to the name of the company, few people ever bother to present 
these to their banks. The name of the company: 'The Anal Sex and Fetish 
Perversion Company.'

1. 




While waiting for the final voter recount in Florida, media services 
questioned the two major presidential candidates today. Both agreed that 
Americans are seeing too much inappropriate material in popular 
entertainment. However, they disagreed on the details.

The Republican candidate, George W. Bush, stated that there is too much 
bloody violence in the movies and on television.

Vice President Al Gore, his Democratic opponent, stated that the media 
presents Americans with too much sex and frontal nudity.

In other words, Bush says there is too much gore and Gore says there is 
too much bush.

2. 




According to a new study, Americans now spend 94% of their time indoors.
What do you expect from a culture that goes inside a gym to use a walking 
machine?

3. 



BONUS! A random story from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




This guy was playing a game of texas holdem poker and had already lost 300 dollars when suddenly he looked down, and just next to the table he sees a little green leprechaun.
"Jus quit playing poker right now and I will give you a million dollars worth in a pot full of gold said the little green gentlemen.
The player replied, sure "just Let me get even first."


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