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Today's quotes [1.22.13]

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I have an answering machine in my car. It says: I'm
home now,but leave a message and I'll call when
I'm out.

Steven Wright


A good day is when you wake up without a chalk outline around your body.


A woman's work that is never done is the stuff she asked her husband to do.


"I just woke up, I'm 40 miles from my car and I can't remember where I left my
 trousers. I think I'm going to be a little late."
                        -- Someone's employee, rec.humor.funny


"... this bit here says 'I don't think we're in UNIX anymore Toto'..."
                        -- me


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