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Today's poems [1.25.13]

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   THE CREATION OF A VAGINA
   Seven wise men with knowledge so fine
   Created a pussy to their design.
   First was a butcher, smart with wit,
   Using a knife, he gave it a slit.
   Second was a carpenter, strong and bold,
   With a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole.
   Third was a tailor, tall and thin,
   By using red velvet, he lined it within.
   Fourth was a hunter, short and stout,
   With a piece of fox fur, he lined it without.
   Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell,
   He threw in a fish and gave it a smell.
   Sixth was a preacher whose name was McGee,
   He touched it and blessed it and said it could pee.
   Last came a sailor, a dirty little runt,
   He sucked it and fucked it and called it a cunt
   


  

1. 




There was a young singer named Springer, 
               Got his testicles caught in a wringer. 
                    He hollered in pain 
                    As they rolled down the drain, 
               (falsetto): "There goes my career as a singer!" 

2. 




               A bobby of Nottingham Junction 
               Whose organ had long ceased to function 
                    Deceived his good wife 
                    For the rest of her life 
               With the aid of a constable's truncheon. 

3. 




               There was a young man from Aberdeen 
               Who invented a jerking machine. 
                    On the twenty-fifth stroke 
                    The goddamn thing broke 
               And beat his balls into a cream. 
                                                  

4. 




               There once was a girl from Anheuser, 
               Who said no man could suprise her, 
                    But Pabst took a chance, 
                    Found a Schlitz down her pants, 
               And now he is sadder Budweiser. 

5. 



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 January '13 Poems Issues:
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      1  2  3  4  5  
6  7  8  9  10 11 12 
13 14 15 16 17 18 19 
20 21 22 23 24 25 26 
27 28 29 30 31 

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