Today's poems [1.24.13]
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There once was an apple-cheeked runt
Who was welcomed with joy at the Front.
This God's gift to he-men
Prevented spilled semen,
For his ass was tattooed like a cunt.
There was a young girl of Claridge's
Who said, "What a strange thing marriage is,
When you stop to think
That I've poured down the sink
Five abortions and fifty miscarriages!"
A contortionist hailing from Lynch
Used to rent out his tool by the inch.
A foot cost a quid---
He could and he did
Stretch it to three in a pinch.
There was a young lady of Joppa
Who came a society cropper.
She went to Ostend
With a gentlemen friend---
The rest of the story's improper.
A lad from far-off Transvaal
Was lustful, but tactful withal.
He'd say, just for luck,
"Mam'selle, do you fuck?"
But he'd bow till he almost would crawl.
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