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Today's jokes [1.6.13]

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One year at halloween the governor was giving a costume 
party.  All the gentry were there and as they arrived the 
doorman would announce what there characters were.

When one couple arrived he announced "Mickey and Minnie 
Mouse".

As the next couple arrived he announced "Tarzan and Jane" 
and so on as each guest arrived.

Later in the evening a man arrived dressed only in a pair of 
underpants but apart from that totally naked from head to toe.

"Who do you think you are?" demanded the doorman.  Having 
ascertained that the man was indeed an invited guest from the 
local university CS department The doorman asked "How 
shall I announce you?"

The man said, "I'm premature ejaculation"

"I'm very sorry sir", said the doorman in obvious shock, "I 
cannot announce anything like that to such a gathering."

"O.K." said the professor.  "Just say I came in my pants"



1. 




Did you hear that in New York State, the Stop And Shop grocery chain 
merged with the A & P?
Yup..now they call it the...Stop & P. 

2. 




Why are politicians like diapers?


Both should be changed regularly and for the same reason.

3. 




In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June
- Jonathan Fiddle -
Went out of tune.

4. 




Cop coming upon a young couple making out....
Cop: What the hell are you two doing?
Boy: See honey, I told ya cops were stupid.

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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