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Today's jokes [1.22.13]

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   Four nuns arrived at the gates of heaven. St. Peter makes the
   inspection. The first one
   says:"I have to confess, I held mans penis in one hand." St. Peter
   says:"You see the bowl
   of holy water, wash your hand and go in." The second says:"I have to
   confess, I held
   mans penis in both hands." St. Peter:"Wash both your hands and go in.
   Suddenly the
   other two start fighting, something terrible. St.Peter goes there,
   pulls them apart, asks
   *What's going on? One of them shouts I want to gargle, before she
   washes her ass in
   there.
   


1. 




Seems that the traveling salesman was driving in the country and his car 
broke down. He hiked several miles to a farm house, and asked the farmer 
if there was a place he could stay over night. 
"Sure," said the farmer, "my wife died several years ago, and my two 
daughters are 21 and 23 but they're off to college, and I'm all by my 
self, so I have lots of room to put you up." 
Hearing this, the salesman turned around and started walking back towards 
the highway, and the farmer called after him...."Didn't you hear what I 
said? I have lots of room." 
"I heard you," said the salesman,"but I think I'm in the wrong joke."

2. 




When shouldn't a mountain climber call for help?

When he's hanging by his teeth.



3. 




Two gynecologists meet at lunch.
The first one says, "I had a patient this morning with
a clit like a dill pickle. 
The second one says,"That big or that green?"
The first one says,"That Sour."

4. 




Why do Black widow spiders kill there mates after mating?

To stop the snoring before it starts..



5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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