Today's jokes [1.21.13] Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.
Why do blondes have two more brain cells than a cow? So that when you pull their tits, they don't moo.
Q: Why was Raggedy Ann thrown out of the toy store? A: She was caught sitting on Pinocchio's face and shouting "Lie lie lie!"
This rich couple were going out for the evening when the woman of the house decided to give the butler the rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late and he should just enjoy his night. Well, as it turned out the wife wasn't having a good time at the party, and came home early.As she walks into the house she sees Jeeves sitting by himself in the dining room. She calls for him to follow her. She leads him into the master bedroom, where she closes and locks the door. She looks at him and smiles. "Jeeves. Take off my dress." He does this carefully. "Jeeves. Take off my stockings and garter." He silently obeys her. "Jeeves. Remove my bra and panties." As he does this, the tension continues to mount. She looks at him. "Jeeves. If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired!"
Little Harry walks in the bathroom and sees his mum with no clothes on, standing in front of him, he looks up at her private parts he asks "What's that mum ? " His mum frozen tried to think what to say, finally she came up with the following, "That's where your dad accidentially hit me with an axe!" and little Harry replies, "Good shot, right in the CUNT!"
There was a large nuclear accident and one of the worlds largest cities was totally destroyed. There were millions of people dead it was a real tragedy. With that many people of course things got backed up at the pearly gates, where they have to interview everyone. The people were lined up for miles. Then at the front of the line a large cheer went up, and there was much rejoicing. Of course the people at the back of the line were curious about what was happening. Finally one man stepped out and called toward the front of the line, "what's going on?" Someone called back "They ain't gonna count fucking."
Love, Mary
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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