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Today's jokes [1.20.13]

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A guy says, "I remember the first time I used
alcohol as a substitute for women."
"Yeah what happened?" asked his friend.
The first guy replies, "Well, er, I got my
penis stuck in the neck of the bottle."


What were Michael Jackson's baby's first words?

                             Which one's Mommy?


At a government affair, the wives of four world
leaders are chatting about how people refer to a
penis in their countries.

The wife of Tony Blair says in England people
call it a gentleman, because  it stands up when
women are entering.

The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call
it a patriot, because you never know if it will
hit you on the front or on the back side.

The wife of Chirac says in France you call it a
curtain, because it goes down after the act.

With great resignation, the wife of Clinton says
in the USA you call it a rumor, because it
goes from mouth to mouth...

Sent by Igor


A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband in bed with a 
lady midget. Upset and furious over his actions, the woman screams, "You 
promised me two weeks ago that you would never cheat on me again!" Trying
his best to calm her down, the husband turns to his wife and says, "Take 
it easy Dear, Can't you see I'm trying to taper off?"


Q: What's the best way to kill a man?

A: Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him.
   Then tell him to pick only one


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

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