Today's jokes [1.2.13]
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A man and a woman are sitting next to each other at a bar getting
drunk. The man turns to the woman and asks her why she's so down.
"My husband just left me. He said I'm too kinky in bed," she said.
"What a coincidence! My wife just left me," said the man, "she told
me that I was too kinky for her, too!"
The two talk a little while longer, and finding that they have so
much in common they decide to go back to the woman's house to have
When they get to the woman's house she turns to the man and says,
"Give me ten minutes, I want to slip into something more comfortable."
She goes into the bathroom and changes into a full leather dominatrix
However, as she is coming out of her bathroom, the man is putting on
his coat and walking out the door.
"What happened?" She said, "I thought you wanted to have kinky sex?"
He looks at her and says, "Well, I just screwed your dog and shit in
your purse. I'm done."
One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below
sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, but he
had on no scuba gear whatsoever.
The diver went below another 20 feet, but the guy joined him a
few minutes later. The diver went below 25 feet, but minutes
later, the same guy joined him. This confused the diver, so he
took out a waterproof chalkboard set, and wrote, "How the heck
are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"
The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had
written, and wrote, "I'm drowning, you moron!"
What did one of the blonde's legs say to the other one?
Between you and me we could make a lot of money!
A blind man walks into a drug store with his seeing eye dog.
He takes the dogs leash & starts swinging it around & around
The druggist says "May I help you?"
The blind man replies "No thank you, I'm just looking
Q: What's the worst thing about being a paedophile?
A: Having to go to bed so early!
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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