Today's jokes [1.16.13]
Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.
What do you get with a corduroy condom?
A groovy kind of love.
The newlywed couple were checking into the hotel. The new groom
approached the desk clerk. He said he wanted the best for they were on
their honeymoon. The clerk asked the man if he wanted the bridal.
"No," he said, "I don't believe I'll need it. I'll just grab onto her
ears and hold on 'til she gets used to it."
Q: What will it take to reunite Nirvana???
A: Two more bullets...
Paddy gets a phone call from Murphy. "Paddy," says Murphy, "I've got a
"What's the matter?" replies Paddy
"Oi've bought a jigsaw and it's too hard. None of the pieces fit
together, and I can't find any edges."
"What's the picture of?" asks Paddy
"It's of a big cockerel," Murphy replies.
Paddy says, "Alroight, Murphy, Oi'll come over and have a look."
He gets to Murphy's house and Murphy opens the door. "Oh thanks for
coming Paddy." He leads Paddy into the kitchen and shows him the jigsaw
on the kitchen table.
Paddy looks at the jigsaw, then turns to Murphy and says, "For God's sake
Murphy, put the cornflakes back in the packet."
Two friends met after a long time, and chatted about what´s been going on
since they last met. One of them had a new girlfriend and the other one
asked about her cooking, her relation to his folks etc. etc. and finally
asked "How is she in bed?" First guy replies "She´s fantastic, she sucks
like a real man!"
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30 31