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Today's jokes [1.16.13]

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What do you get with a corduroy condom?

A groovy kind of love.


1. 




   The newlywed couple were checking into the hotel. The new groom
   approached the desk clerk. He said he wanted the best for they were on
   their honeymoon. The clerk asked the man if he wanted the bridal.
   "No," he said, "I don't believe I'll need it. I'll just grab onto her
   ears and hold on 'til she gets used to it."


2. 




Q: What will it take to reunite Nirvana???
A: Two more bullets...


3. 




Paddy gets a phone call from Murphy.  "Paddy," says Murphy, "I've got a 
problem."
"What's the matter?" replies Paddy
"Oi've bought a jigsaw and it's too hard.  None of the pieces fit 
together, and I can't find any edges."
"What's the picture of?" asks Paddy
"It's of a big cockerel," Murphy replies.
Paddy says, "Alroight, Murphy, Oi'll come over and have a look."
He gets to Murphy's house and Murphy opens the door.  "Oh thanks for 
coming Paddy."  He leads Paddy into the kitchen and shows him the jigsaw 
on the kitchen table.
Paddy looks at the jigsaw, then turns to Murphy and says, "For God's sake 
Murphy, put the cornflakes back in the packet."

4. 




Two friends met after a long time, and chatted about what´s been going on 
since they last met. One of them had a new girlfriend and the other one 
asked about her cooking, her relation to his folks etc. etc. and finally 
asked "How is she in bed?" First guy replies "She´s fantastic, she sucks 
like a real man!"

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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