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Today's jokes [1.10.13]

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A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the
mirror. He asks, "What are you doing?"
She replies, "I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the breasts
of a 25 year old."
The husband retorts, "Well, what did he say about your 50 year old ass?"
She replies, "Frankly dear, your name never came up."




Sent by M


The dean of women at an exclusive girl's college was lecturing her 
students on sexual morality. "In moments of temptation," said the speaker 
to the class, "ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure 
worth a lifetime of shame?"
A sweet young thing in the back of the room rose to ask: "How do you make 
it last an hour?"


The huge black dude was getting ready for the electric chair -
he had been found guilty of rape and murder.  The witnesses to
the execution were astonished when the prisoner's pant leg was
cut and a tiny electrode was prepared to be placed on his penis.
"Hey don't look so surprised" the condemned man said.
"Yours would shrink and shrivel up too it you were about to be zapped!"


An Australian joke...

St Peter is standing at the pearly gates one day when a pair of Abo's 
stroll up.
"Your names aren't on today's list... let me go and ask the Boss" he says.
In God's office he tells the Big Man all about the two Abo's, and God
tells Peter to go and tell them to fuck right off.
St Peter takes his leave. 
5 minutes later St Peter runs back into the room and says "they're gone"
God says "the Abo's? Good". 
and St Peter replies... "NO THE PEARLY GATES!!!".


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

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