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Today's jokes [9.26.12]

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Did you hear about the queer deaf mute?

     - Neither did he. 

1. 




FAVORITE FANTASY

       Age         Fantasy

        17         getting to third
        25         airplane sex
        35         menage a trois
        48         taking the company public
        66         Swiss maid/Nazi love slave

2. 




St. Peter meets Mother Theresa at the Gates Of Heaven and says, "You were 
a good woman. I'm giving you a nice halo."
Mother Theresa is walking around Heaven when she sees Princess Di, and the 
Princess has a much bigger halo.
Mother Theresa goes back to St. Peter and says, "St. Peter, I spent most 
of my adult life helping the poor and the sickly. Princess Di did no where 
near the amount of charitable work I did. Why does she have a bigger 
halo?"
St. Peter says, "That's not a halo. That's a steering wheel."

3. 




Q: What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?
A: Full.


4. 




There's these four Irishmen in a bar, all drinking Guinness. One of them 
is looking rather puzzled, so another turns to him and asks him what's the 
matter.

1st Irishman: Well, I was just trying to remember what 2 plus 2 is.
2nd Irishman: Oh, that's easy, it's 147.
1st Irishman: No no no, that can't be right. How about you, Fergus, do you
              know what 2 plus 2 is?
3rd Irishman: Hmmm ... could it be Wednesday, perhaps?
1st Irishman: No no no, that doesn't sound right either. How about you               
Pat, do you know?
4th Irishman: Simple, the answer is 4.
1st Irishman: Of course! How did you work it out?!
4th Irishman: Aha, that's where brains come in! I subtracted 147 from
              Wednesday!



5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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