Today's jokes [9.21.12]
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What's the difference between a Harley and a Hoover vacuum???
Answer: The position of the dirtbag!
Where men are real men
And sheep are scared shitless
And where the term 'Going Down Under' means something entirely different
On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and
civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control
tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an
aircraft asking, "What time is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"
The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an
American Airlines Flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is an Air Force,
it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is
an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand
is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday
A hopeful suitor dropped into a computer-dating center and
registered his qualifications. He wanted someone who enjoyed
water sports, liked company, favored formal attire, and was
very small. The computer operated faultlessly. It sent him a
A Captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert outpost.
On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel
tied out back of the enlisted men's barracks. He asked the Sargent
leading the tour, what the camel was for.
The Sargent replied, "Well sir, it's a long way from anywhere, and the
men have natural sexual urges, so when they do, uh, we have the
The Captain said, "Well, if it's good for morale, then I guess it's
all right with me."
After he had been at the fort for about 6 months, the Captain could
not stand it anymore, so he told his Sargent, "BRING IN THE CAMEL!!!"
The Sarge shrugged his shoulders and led the camel into the Captain's
quarters. The Captain got a foot stool and proceeded to have vigorous
sex with the camel. As he stepped, satisfied, down from the stool and
was buttoning his pants he asked the Sargent, "Is that how the
enlisted men do it?"
The Sargent replied, "Well sir, they usually just use it to ride into
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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