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Today's jokes [9.2.12]

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Two Amish women were out picking potatoes in the field when one of them 
picked up two huge potatoes and said "These potatoes remind me of Emil's 
balls"

"Are they that big?" asked the other.

"No they're this dirty." 

1. 




Age        HOUSE PET

        17         Muffy the cat
        25         Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat
        35         Irish setter and Muffy the Cat
        48         Children from his first marriage and Muffy the Cat
        66         Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs
                    Muffy the Cat



2. 




   A woman with really hairy underarms boards a crowded bus. Unable to
   find a seat, she settles for hanging onto one of the poles.
   
   A drunk man next to her stares at her for three minutes, then tells
   her, "I love a woman that does aerobics."
   
   The woman replies angrily, "I don't DO aerobics!"
   
   The drunk man then looks at the woman and says, "Then how did you get
   your leg up so high?"
   


3. 




why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

breasts don't have eyes



4. 




What's a famous saying at a gay bar? 
May I push in your stool.

Sent by Jeff

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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