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Today's jokes [9.18.12]

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What do you do when a Rottweiler gets amorous on your leg?

Fake an orgasm.

1. 




How is pubic hair like parsley?

You push it to the side before you start eating.

2. 




Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

A: One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with....
the other is used to carry groceries. 

3. 




The composition teacher asked the class to write about an unusual
   event that happened during the past week. Little Johnny got up and
   read his essay.
   
   It began, "Daddy fell into the well last week..."
   
   "My goodness!" the teacher exclaimed. "Is he all right?"
   
   "He must be," said the boy. "He stopped yelling for help yesterday."
   


4. 




A psychiatrist met a friend and exclaimed, "I heard you died."
"But you see I'm alive ," smiled the friend. "Impossible," said the 
psychiatrist. "The man who told me is much more reliable than you."



5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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