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Today's jokes [9.13.12]

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   After attending a party for his boss, the life of the party was
   nursing a king-size hangover
   and asked his wife, "What the hell happened?"
   "As usual, you made an ass of yourself in front of your boss," replied
   the wife.
   "Piss on him," answered the husband.
   "You did," said the wife, "and he fired you."
   "Well, fuck him," said the husband.
   "I did, and you go back to work in the morning."
   


1. 




This woman is visiting in Israel and notices that her little travel alarm 
needs a battery. She looks for a watch repair shop and while she doesn't 
read Hebrew she finally sees a shop with clocks and watches in the window. 
She goes in and hands the man her clock. The man says, "Madam, I don't 
repair clocks. I am a Mohel. I do circumcisions." 
She says, "Why all the clocks in the window?"
And he says, "And what should I have in my window?"
 

2. 




Two burglars broke into a building and stole a calendar.
They both got 6 months.

Sent by Jimbo

3. 




Q: What happens when a Jew with an erection walks into a wall?

A: He breaks his nose.

4. 




"I'm finished with Judi!" Jon exclaimed to his friend.  "She broke
down and told me she was bisexual.  Who the hell wants to 
screw just twice a year???"

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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