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Today's jokes [9.10.12]

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Little Joey and Little Danny, both aged 5, are walking home from
school. 

 Danny says "I won't be going to school tomorrow." 

"Why not?" asks Joey. 

"I have to go to the hospital," says Danny woefully. 

"That's awful," says Joey. "Why do you have to go there? Are you
sick?" 

Danny shakes his head and replies, "I have to have a circumcision." 

Joey stops dead in his tracks, an expression of complete horror across
his face, "That's Horrible!" he cries, "Why, I had that done when I was
born, and I couldn't walk for MONTHS!!"

1. 




    Last Lunch

   Three steel workers were having lunch at the construction site, a 20
   story building. The first worker is Italian and when he looks in his
   lunch box, he exclaims, "Oh, no, if I have to eat spaghetti for lunch
   one more time, I going to jump off the 20th floor and kill myself."
   The second worker is Hispanic. When he looks in his lunch box, he
   exclaims, " Oh, no, if I have to eat tacos for lunch one more time, I
   going to jump off the 20th floor and kill myself." The third worker is
   polish. When he looks in his lunch box, he exclaims, "Oh, no, if I
   have to eat polish sausage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump
   off the 20th floor and kill myself."
   The next day the Italian looks in his lunch box, sees a bowl of
   spaghetti. He walks to the edge and jumps to his death. Then the
   Hispanic worker looks in his lunch box, sees 2 tacos. He walks to the
   edge and jumps to his death. Finally the polish worker looks in his
   lunch box, sees a polish sausage sandwich. He walks to the edge and
   jumps to his death.
   At the funeral for the three workers the Italian workers wife is
   sobbing out of control and cries," Oh, its all my fault. If only I had
   packed him a different lunch!" The Hispanics wife is also sobbing out
   of control and cries," Oh, its all my fault. If only I had packed my
   husband a different lunch!" The polish workers wife isn't crying at
   all so the other two wives confront her.
   "Don't look at me," she exclaims, "He packs his own lunch!"


2. 




Playboy is coming out with a new magazine for men who are married. 

     Every month the centerfold is the exact same woman. 

3. 




A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of
goods totaling a great deal of money.

The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid. The
collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, "We can't
ship your new order until you pay for the last one."

The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call,
"Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long."

4. 




Q: Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men?

A: It changes their blood type. 

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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