Today's quotes [8.8.12]
Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to quote categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.
"By ten I was so wasted I had been officially downgraded to a lower rung
on the evolutionary ladder. Some guy in a suit came up, listened to my
attempts to string words together, revoked my rights as Homo Sapiens
on the spot and reclassified me as some kind of plant life. I had to
fill in all kinds of forms and shit. It was very embarrassing."
-- Michael Marshall Smith, "Spares"
Incest. A game the whole family can play.
"Our strategic alliance is working well. Our company provides amazing
technical skill and your company has a seemingly endless supply of
"Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated."
"Is it true that if your name is written in a binder you lose your soul?"
-- Some Guy, Dilbert, Some Other Guy
"My computer screen says 'Press any key to continue'. Can I borrow your keys?
Mine are locked in my Yugo..."
-- Some Guy (from Dilbert)
"A fast word about oral contraception.
I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'."
By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30 31