Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  

Today's poems [8.7.12]

Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to poem categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.

                             Ode to The Bobbits
There once was a Bobbitt named John
Who thaught he was quite the Don Juan
His wife disagreed
So the next time he wee'd
John couldn't locate his wand.

Lorena wished John could be nicer
But he wasn't much of a de-icer
If she finds a new spouse
Let us hope he's no louse
Or we might have our first serial slicer.

A surgeon was filled with great tension
Trying to sew on a thing we can't mention
He stitched and he sewed
Used all the skills that he knowed
But the wee thing won't stand at attention.

John Bobbitt was never a loner
In fact, he was known as a roamer
His wife seized his prize
And cut him to size
Now he is his own organ donor.

There once was a crime most venal
One might say 'twas inches from renal
It wasn't for sport
That she made him so short
Her intentions were nothing but penal.

The Bobbitt case sure is a dilly
Though it sounds a little bit silly
He said she's the hacker
Who lopped off his whacker
She said she was trying to Free Willy.


Spam Haiku

Pink tender morsel,
Glistening with salty gel.
What the hell is it?


Ears, snouts and inards,
A homogeneous mass.
Pass another slice.


Old man seeks doctor.
"I eat SPAM daily", says he.


Highly unnatural,
The tortured shape of this "food":
A small pink coffin.

 - author unknown


My wife is an amorous soul 
            On fire for an African's pole. 
                She told a coon chauffeur 
                That he was her gopher--- 
            And, say, did he go for her hole! 


As he creamed my wife's cunt, the coon said, 
            "I could fuck this until she was dead!" 
                As he plugged up her trough, 
                I jerked myself off; 
            "If that's how you feel, go ahead!" 


There was an old spinster of Tyre 
            Who bellowed, "My cunt is on fire!" 
                So a fireman was found, 
                Brought his engine around, 
            And extinguished her burning desire. 


BONUS! A random poem from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Jokes
Today's Stories
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 August '12 Poems Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
         1  2  3  4  
5  6  7  8  9  10 11 
12 13 14 15 16 17 18 
19 20 21 22 23 24 25 
26 27 28 29 30 31 

Jump to  

For any questions or comments email us at
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.