Today's poems [8.31.12]
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There was a young singer named Springer,
Got his testicles caught in a wringer.
He hollered in pain
As they rolled down the drain,
(falsetto): "There goes my career as a singer!"
A bobby of Nottingham Junction
Whose organ had long ceased to function
Deceived his good wife
For the rest of her life
With the aid of a constable's truncheon.
There was a young man from Aberdeen
Who invented a jerking machine.
On the twenty-fifth stroke
The goddamn thing broke
And beat his balls into a cream.
There once was a girl from Anheuser,
Who said no man could suprise her,
But Pabst took a chance,
Found a Schlitz down her pants,
And now he is sadder Budweiser.
There was a young fellow of Perth
Whose balls were the finest on earth.
They grew to such size
That one won a prize,
And goodness knows what they were worth.
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