Today's jokes [8.25.12]
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Little Johnny came running into the house and asked,
"Mommy, can little girls have babies?"
"No", said his mom, "of course not."
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his
friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"
The Yuppette had risen to executive level in the company in no
time at all. Hearing rumors about her, the husband confronted
his wife and accused her of sleeping with all of the top level
"Now that's entirely false." she cried. "I took the easy route and
slept with anyone who mattered at least twice."
What did Clinton say when accused of copying his homework from his
girlfriend at Oxford?
I did not have textual relations with that woman.
A guy was attending a masquerade Halloween Ball, and
dancing with a girl who was wearing a map of Texas for a
Suddenly she slapped him hard and stalked off the dance floor.
"What the hell happened?" asked a friend who had witnessed
the entire event.
"I'm not really sure." the man replied, rubbing his red cheek.
"When she asked if I had ever been to Texas, I put my finger on
Amarillo to show her, and she let me have it."
At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are
hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to
blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he
is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother
quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and
greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him
$40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees
the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the
The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then
come give your real father a big hug."
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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