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Today's jokes [8.25.12]

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Little Johnny came running into the house and asked,
"Mommy, can little girls have babies?"
"No", said his mom, "of course not."
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his
friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"


The Yuppette had risen to executive level in the company in no 
time at all. Hearing rumors about her, the husband confronted 
his wife and accused her of sleeping with all of the top level 

"Now that's entirely false." she cried. "I took the easy route and 
slept with anyone who mattered at least twice."


What did Clinton say when accused of copying his homework from his
girlfriend at Oxford?

I did not have textual relations with that woman.


A guy was attending a masquerade Halloween Ball, and 
dancing with a girl who was wearing a map of Texas for a 

Suddenly she slapped him hard and stalked off the dance floor.
"What the hell happened?" asked a friend who had witnessed 
the entire event.

"I'm not really sure." the man replied, rubbing his red cheek. 
"When she asked if I had ever been to Texas, I put my finger on 
Amarillo to show her, and she let me have it."


At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are 
hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to 
blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." 
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he 
is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother 
quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." 
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and 
greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him 
$40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother." 
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees 
the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the 
whole truth." 
The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then 
come give your real father a big hug."


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

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