Today's jokes [8.12.12]
Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.
Answering Machine Recording:
"You have reached the breast self-examination hot line. Please press 1
now.......Now press the other one."
A tipsy guy in a bar stood and made the following speech, "I am white from
head to toe. I am rich and I am handsome. My name is Brown. B-R-O-W-N."
Thoroughly annoyed, Sam retorted, "My name is Sam and I am white from head
to toe. Except my asshole. Which is brown. B-R-O-W-N."
Q: Why can't Jesus eat M & M's?
A: Because they fall through the holes in his hands.
Emery fixed himself a Scotch while waiting for
Maria to get ready for their date. She came out
of the shower wrapped in a bath towel and said,
"I'm sorry I'm late but I was shopping and lost
track of time. Would you like to see me in my
"I would like nothing better." said Emery.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. Then
when you do criticize that person, you'll be a mile away and
have his shoes.
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30 31