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Today's stories [7.7.12]

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Wanted: Preparer of food. Must be dependable, like the food business, and 
be willing to get hands dirty.

Illiterate? Write today for free help.

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross 
and salary.

Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general 
housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.


Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for
efficient beating.

Mother's helper--peasant working conditions.

Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, 
unrivaled inconvenience.


It is well documented that for every mile that you
jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you
at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a
nursing home at $5000 per month.


BONUS! A random story from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

This guy was playing a game of texas holdem poker and had already lost 300 dollars when suddenly he looked down, and just next to the table he sees a little green leprechaun.
"Jus quit playing poker right now and I will give you a million dollars worth in a pot full of gold said the little green gentlemen.
The player replied, sure "just Let me get even first."

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