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Today's quotes [7.20.12]

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"Actually, an oxymoron is more along the lines of a moron with an OH+
 radical attached.  Since both morons and free radicals tend to bind
 strongly to the first interesting thing that comes along, this is a
 match made in heaven."
                        -- The Internet Oracle


1. 




I have the world's largest collection of seashells.  I keep it on all the
beaches of the world...  Perhaps you've seen it.


2. 




Children in back seats cause accidents.
Accidents in back seats cause children.

3. 




If elected, Lieberman will be the first Jew to serve
under a President since Monica Lewinsky.

4. 




"I just woke up, I'm 40 miles from my car and I can't remember where I left my
 trousers. I think I'm going to be a little late."
                        -- Someone's employee, rec.humor.funny


5. 



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