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Today's jokes [7.5.12]

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What is New Jersey's state bird?


                    The common House Fly.

1. 




A guy hears a knocking on his door.  He opens it up, and no
one is there.  He looks all around and he finally sees a
little snail sitting on the doormat.  He picks it up and
throws it across the street into a field.

Ten years go by, and one day he hears a knocking on his
door.  He opens it up and no one is there.

He looks all around, and he finally sees a little snail
sitting on the doormat.

The snail looks up and says, "What the hell was that all
about?"

2. 




No $



Dear Dad,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.
With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would
like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love,
Your $on.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dear Son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an
hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble
task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love,
Dad



3. 




Why does a blonde have curtains on her PC?

To open windows

4. 




Q. Why does Barbara Bush always get on top ?
A. Because George can only fuck up.


5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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