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Today's jokes [7.29.12]

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Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were at this
   party they were at
   the night before. 1st guy: Man, I was so drunk that last night I got
   home and blew chunks.
   2nd guy: Oh yeah? Well, I was so drunk that on the way home I was
   pulled over and given
   a DUI! 3rd guy: That's nothing. I was so drunk that on the way home I
   picked up a
   prostitute and my wife caught us in bed! 1st guy: No, no.. you guys
   don't understand!
   Chunks is my dog.


why do women have legs?

have you ever seen the mess that slugs leave behind!??


What did one gay sperm say to the other? 

     - I can't find my way through all this shit. 


   One Fall day, Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse
   slowly drive by. Following the first hearse, was a second hearse which
   was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and
   then about 200 men walking in single file.
   Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the second hearse and
   asked him who was in the first hearse.
   "My wife," the man replied.
   "I'm sorry," said Bill. "What happened to her?"
   "My dog bit her and she died."
   Bill then asked the man who was in the second hearse.
   The man replied, "My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as
   Bill thought about this for a while. He finally asked the man, "Can I
   borrow your dog?"
   To which the man replied, "Get in line."


Part I: 

How do you keep a blond(e) busy? 

Give him/her a bag of M&Ms and ask her to alphabetize them. 

Part II: 

Why does that work? 

'Does 3 come before E or between M and W?' 


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

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