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Today's jokes [7.27.12]

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Three altar boys are standing in the snow with their pants down around 
their ankles. They have their penis' in a snow bank.

Sister Margaret sticks her head out the window and says, "Boys! Boys!
Whatever are you doing... you're going to catch pneumonia.  Put your 
penis' away."

The tallest altar boy turns around and yells, "Sister Margaret, don't 
worry, we know what we're doing.  Father Porter always likes a couple
cold ones after work...."

1. 




This guy wants to be a proctologist, and he wants to be a really good 
proctologist, so he decides to go down to the morgue after class and 
practice a little. Well, he uncovers the first guy and there is a cork
in his butt! He thinks it's a little strange, so he pulls it and music 
starts playing!
". . . On the road again, just can't wait to get on the road again...". 
The guy really freaks out! He runs and gets the M.A. and drags the poor 
guy back to the table. "Look!" he says, and pulls the cork out again,
". . . On the road again . . ."
The M.A. is totally unimpressed..."So what?" he says. "Isn't that the
most amazing thing you've ever seen?", the guy asked.
"Are you kidding?" says the M.A. "Any asshole can sing country music!" 


2. 




Two mountain bred GIs were wandering the streets of calcutta when an old 
woman walked by. "Hey, Billy Joe," one said, "I think that's Mother 
Teresa." "Your nuts." "I'm telling you."
They approached the woman and one asked, "Are you Mother Teresa?" The old 
lady eyed them scornfully. "Fuck off, you goddamn perverts," she hissed, 
striding off. "Jeez," Billy Joe said, watching her disappear into the 
crowd, "now we'll never know."

3. 




If IBM made toasters...
They would want one big toaster where people bring bread to be
submitted for overnight toasting. IBM would claim a worldwide
market for five, maybe six toasters.

4. 




Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers once a month?

     Because it says right on the box "good for up to 20 pounds." 

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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