Today's jokes [7.19.12]
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HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing
the same thing to them at funerals.
A man walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his
hand. A cop on the
beat sees him, and approaches, "Can I help you, sir?" "Yesssh!
my car!" the man replies. The cop asks, "Where was your car the last
time you saw it?"
"It wasssh at the end of thisssh key!" the man replies, logically, if
a bit too literally. About
this time the cop looks down to see that the man's member is being
exhibited for all the
world to see. He asks the man, "Sir, are you aware that you are
The man looks down woefully and without missing a beat, moans "OHHH
GOD . . . they
got my girlfriend too!!!"
A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the
house. He got the outside.
Two homosexuals were talking when one of them happened to
mention that he had gotten circumcised last week.
"Can I see it?" asked the second gay homosexual, so he promptly
dropped his pants to show off his cock.
"Oooh," squealed his friend, "You look ten years younger!"
Q. What do you call a musician without a significant other?
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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