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Today's jokes [7.15.12]

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A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and
was climbing into bed when his wife complained,
as usual, "I have a headache." 
"Perfect" her husband said. "I was just in the
bathroom powdering my penis with aspirin.
You can take it orally or as a suppository,...
it's up to you!" 

1. 




How do you kill a circus?

Go for the juggler.

2. 




   Adjusting to marriage sometimes poses some unexpected problems. But
   when I came upon a friend of mine in a bar the night after his
   wedding, I had ask exactly what he was doing there instead of with his
   new bride.
   
   "Well, you see, this morning when I got up," he said, "I was barely
   awake from a wonderful night of love-making. More out of habit than
   anything else, I put a fifty dollar bill on the dresser."
   
   I told him not to worry about it, that his new wife probably wouldn't
   even think anything of it; that he could always say he left her some
   spending money.
   
   "No no !" he half wailed/half said, "You don't understand. She was
   half asleep too and gave me $30 change."


3. 




I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months 
 - I don't like to interrupt her.



4. 




A man leaned toward an attractive woman at a bar and told her, "Haven't I 
seen you somewhere before?"
"Yes," she replied in a loud voice, "I'm the receptionist at the V.D. 
clinic." 

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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